Giving good feedback is more than just voicing your thoughts. It’s a skill that balances thoughtfulness, fairness and guidance. In fact, how you deliver feedback matters just as much as the feedback itself. At OysterLink, we see firsthand how professionals, especially in fast-paced environments like the restaurant industry, thrive when communication is clear, constructive and fair.
One common approach is the “compliment sandwich,” which mixes positive and critical feedback. While some dismiss it as ineffective or even manipulative, when used correctly, but if done correctly, it can make it easier for you to give constructive feedback — and for your team to hear it. So, how can leaders make the most of this technique? Let’s break it down.
1. Open with specific appreciation
Avoid generic compliments when starting the conversation. Try to begin with something specific to your employee’s performance. This shows that you pay attention and value their contributions.
This approach doesn’t benefit employees alone. Practicing honesty instead of passive flattery forces you to reflect on people’s strengths, even when lapses arise. With this, you build trust and credibility by giving them the idea that you are attentive and sincere.
Showing genuine appreciation also serves as a helpful self-check for leaders. It allows you to approach with caution, especially when emotions run high. This “delay” prevents knee-jerk criticism that can lead to conflicts and promotes a more thoughtful assessment.
If you can’t think of anything positive, take a step back and try again. Having an overly critical mindset might do you more harm than good.
Related: How to Give Feedback Without Hurting Anyone’s Feelings
2. Discuss areas for improvement and how to take action
A common misconception about the compliment sandwich is that the middle part allows leaders to criticize harshly just because they’ve already given compliments. Remember: As leaders, we do not criticize — we suggest improvements.
The middle part is not about you. Instead of pointing out what you don’t like, provide specific, clear actions for them to improve. Afterward, explain the benefits of this change. Framing this portion well can positively impact your employees’ course of action. It guides them toward a clear path instead of leaving them confused or discouraged by negative feedback.
When employees see you’re willing to help, they’ll be encouraged to do the work and reap the benefits.
3. Close by building on momentum
When ending the feedback, don’t just add another compliment. Connect it to the previous point by showing how fixing the issue can build on their strengths and potential.
This step reinforces your belief in your employees’ ability to improve while keeping the focus on what else they can and need to work on. It also creates a sense of teamwork — you help them see that their strengths and skills are the very tools they can use to navigate the problem effectively.
Instead of empty praise, this final “slice” ties the entire feedback together and puts your professionalism and your employee’s development at the forefront.
4. Keep the balance
The compliment sandwich gets a bad rap because it’s often misused. Most leaders struggle to weigh the positives and negatives and end up overloading the feedback. Then, the message gets lost along the way.
To get your opinion across, make sure that your praises and suggestions strike a balance. Don’t overdo either because you risk sounding insincere or confusing. Aim for natural flow: enough positivity to build recognition and confidence before the critique, but not so much that the main point gets drowned out.
Research has shown, time and time again, that people are more open to constructive criticism when they don’t feel attacked or judged. Even more so when they can tell you’re being genuine. So, keep it accurate and focus on helping them grow.
Related: 5 Ways to Give Feedback That Inspires People to Grow, Not Shrink
It’s not about you
The compliment sandwich only works when you accept that the world does not revolve around you. When feedback is about your preference and disregards employees’ well-being, it loses power. More importantly, you lose respect and influence. Effective feedback must consider your employees’ growth and welfare, not just your own.
You can practice this by avoiding using “I like” and “I don’t like” when giving feedback. This helps take away objectivity. People tend to resist self-serving leaders. The faster you get rid of this language, the better.
Stick to how a person can improve and guide them toward success. Keep the spotlight on them, not you. Constructive feedback is never personal; it’s for everyone’s benefit.
How you give feedback shapes your company’s culture and how employees perceive your leadership. The compliment sandwich isn’t about softening the blow — it’s about fostering collaboration that helps people learn and succeed without intimidation. Mastering this feedback technique allows you to turn the challenging task of giving feedback into a smart tool to help you and your teams develop, all while building stronger connections.
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