Whether you’re hunting for your dream job or mustering up the courage to ask for a well-deserved raise, the fear of rejection can be crippling. Everyone wants to feel accepted and worthy, which can make it so challenging to face rejection as an inevitable part of the human experience, especially in your career.
In fact, the desire to feel connected and wanted is so strong that rejection appears to activate the same regions as physical pain does. There’s no sugar-coating it: rejection hurts, and yet, you should be prepared to experience somewhere around eighty job rejections for every one offer.
…That’s a lot of rejection in your future.
The good news is that you don’t have to fear rejection or let it stop you from taking risks or reaching for big goals. With a bit of work, it’s possible to shift your mindset and start looking at rejection as a part of your journey, not the destination.
Here are three tips to learn how to embrace rejection and use it as fuel in your career.
1. Develop a growth mindset
There’s no denying that the job market in 2023 is tough, and salary negotiations aren’t quite a cakewalk either. But instead of letting the possibility of rejection deter you, embrace failure as an opportunity for growth. If you are met with rejection, get curious! Ask yourself, What can I learn from this?
Did you fumble in the interview? Were you unprepared for the negotiation? Did your pitch need refining?
By pinning down concrete areas of improvement and reinforcing the idea that progress is possible, you actually give yourself the mental space and energy to do the work.
Even though it can be intimidating, actively seeking feedback can also give yourself a sense of control over the situation. Use it to fuel your personal and professional development, and remember that success isn’t a straight line, it’s a zig zag.
2. Expose yourself to more rejection
Yes, that’s right— look for more rejection. Exposure therapy is a legitimate technique used by therapists to help people overcome fears and anxieties— and it’s definitely an approach you can implement when it comes to fearing rejection.
Exposure can be useful because oftentimes, the fear of rejection is worse than the rejection itself. You can expedite the process of becoming comfortable with rejection by taking control of the situation and intentionally seeking it out.
In the context of your career, this can look like applying for jobs that you don’t meet the minimum requirements or years of experience for. Want to take things to the next level? You can implement even more unconventional methods to overcome the fear of rejection by using Jia Jang’s method and seeking it out for 100 days.
From asking a stranger to borrow $100 to requesting a “burger refill” at a restaurant, Jiang claims you can desensitize yourself to the shame and pain that comes with rejection by facing it again and again. In the process, you might discover that simply asking for what you want, despite the possibility of rejection, can open up possibilities where you expect to find dead ends.
3. Network and seek a support system
As down as you are, you’re not alone. Think about it, on average 118 people apply to a single job, which means that 117 other people are in the same position as you in just that one case. It’s important for your own self-esteem and personal growth not to lose sight of the community around you who is experiencing, or who has experienced, the same disappointment.
It’s also important to remember that life is a numbers game. Knock on thousands of doors, and chances are, one will open! And more often than not, all you need is one.
That’s why networking can be an absolute game-changer. Connecting with like-minded individuals who’ve experienced and overcome rejection can inspire and reassure you that rejection is just a stepping stone on the path to success.
Aside from emotional support, mentors can provide useful guidance and tangible tips that help you better navigate your career, whether that be valuable insights on job hunting and promotions or tools for personal development.
Stop running from rejection.
Even the most successful individuals faced their fair share of “no’s” before reaching their goals. Dealing with rejection is an inevitable, and with the right mindset, informative part of your career journey.
It’s up to you to approach rejection head-on with resilience and the willingness to learn. Think of rejection is redirection— every setback is a chance to realign your path, discover your strengths, and ultimately achieve your career aspirations.
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